Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] You know, a few years ago, most people didn't really talk about egg freezing. It was this kind of rare thing, usually something you only hear about when someone was going through cancer treatment or facing medical issues.
[00:00:12] But now it's different.
[00:00:14] Completely different. Egg freezing has moved into this much more mainstream space.
[00:00:20] You see it mentioned on social media, your job might offer it as a benefit, and friends are bringing it up at brunch.
[00:00:27] And honestly, I think it's a good thing. We've needed more open conversations about fertility for a long time, and egg freezing has become one way people are taking ownership of their timeline to give themselves more options, more breathing room, more time.
[00:00:44] Now, that doesn't mean it's simple or that it's right for everyone, or that it guarantees anything. But it is a tool, a powerful one.
[00:00:53] And it's something more and more people are curious about, which is why we're talking about it today.
[00:00:59] Welcome to the Fertility Cafe, where we explore the beautiful complexity of modern family building.
[00:01:06] I'm your host, Eloise Drain, and this is a space for honest conversations about surrogacy, egg donation and the journey to parenthood. With expert insights and real stories, we're here to guide you through the medical, legal and emotional aspects of third party family building.
[00:01:24] We that love has no limits, and neither should parenthood.
[00:01:34] There's a lot of talk about egg freezing, but not always a lot of clarity. It's a big decision. It comes with a process, a cost, and a lot of details that people often don't hear about until they're already in it. I want to walk through what egg freezing actually involves, what to know, what to expect, and how to start thinking through whether it makes sense. For it's not a simple yes or no. For most people. There are medical steps to understand, emotional factors to weigh, financial pieces to consider, and timing that doesn't always feel straightforward. Some people go into it with a clear goal, others are just exploring it as an option. Either way, it helps to know what you're walking into. If this is something you've been thinking about, or even if you're just trying to make sense of all the noise around it, this one's for you. Let's get into it where it started.
[00:02:29] So let's start with where egg freezing actually came from. Because it didn't begin as something people did for timing or personal choice.
[00:02:37] Originally, it was used almost entirely for medical reasons. If someone was about to go through chemotherapy or had a condition that could affect their ovaries, freezing eggs was a way to try to preserve the option of having biological children later.
[00:02:53] And in the beginning, it wasn't very reliable. The process of freezing eggs, especially back in the 80s and 90s, wasn't great at keeping the eggs intact.
[00:03:04] The survival rate after thawing was low, and very few clinics offered it. That started to change in the early 2000s, when a method called vitrification came along. That's a fast freezing process that helps prevent damage to the eggs. And once that became more common, the outcomes improved a lot.
[00:03:23] By 2012, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine announced that egg freezing was no longer considered experimental. But even then, they weren't recommending it for routine use. At that time, it was still seen as something for very specific cases, mostly medical. But people were already starting to ask for it. Women were asking, if I know I want kids, but not right now.
[00:03:48] Why can't I freeze my eggs the same way someone else would before cancer treatment?
[00:03:54] And that question pushed the conversation forward.
[00:03:57] Over the last 10 years or so, egg freezing has slowly moved from something niche and medical to something more people are considering as part of how they think about family building. And as that shift happened, the conversation got a lot bigger. And it wasn't just about science anymore. It became about access, about choice, about who could actually afford to do it and who it was really serving.
[00:04:24] One of the big moments in that shift happened when companies like Facebook and Google started offering egg freezing as a workplace benefit. That was around 2014, and it raised a lot of questions.
[00:04:38] Was this something that empowered women?
[00:04:40] Or was it just a way for companies to say, don't have kids yet, just stay focused on work?
[00:04:47] Some people saw it as a step forward. Others felt like it was a distraction from the real issue, which is that it's still incredibly hard to balance parenthood and career, especially in the US with how little support there is for working families. That's where the conversation started to evolve.
[00:05:06] More people started asking, what would it look like if we actually made it easier to have kids when people are ready instead of just giving them tools to wait longer? And as the visibility grew, public perception started to shift, too.
[00:05:21] For a while, egg freezing was seen as extreme, or something only celebrities did. But that's changed. Now it's becoming more common to hear about people freezing their eggs in their early 30s, not because they're afraid, but because they want options.
[00:05:38] It's not something people whisper about anymore. It's starting to feel like a normal part of the fertility conversation.
[00:05:46] We've also seen a lot more business activity around egg freezing in the last several years.
[00:05:51] There Are more clinics offering it. Some focus just on egg freezing. Some partner with employers and offer it as a part of a benefits package.
[00:06:02] There are even programs where you can freeze your eggs for free if you don't eat half. And behind the scenes, there's new tech being built, things like better storage systems and digital tools that help clinics manage the process.
[00:06:16] But even with all of that, the truth is most people are still paying out of pocket, and it's still out of reach for a lot of folks. If your employer doesn't cover it, and most still don't, it can be a really expensive option.
[00:06:32] So while access is getting better, in some ways, it's still far from equal what it looks like physically. Most people are surprised to learn that the egg freezing process is almost identical to what happens during IVF or even egg donation. The difference is in what happens to the eggs afterwards. With ivf, the eggs are fertilized right away.
[00:06:55] With egg donation, they might be fertilized right away if they're part of a fresh cycle, or they might be frozen and stored until they're matched with a recipient later on.
[00:07:04] But the medical process to retrieve the eggs, that part is basically the same.
[00:07:10] So here's how it works. It starts with testing blood work to check hormone levels and an ultrasound to get a look at the ovaries and see how many follicles are visible.
[00:07:20] That helps the clinic figure out how your body might respond to the medications.
[00:07:24] Then you move into ovarian stimulation. That means giving yourself hormone injections for about eight to 12 days to get your ovaries to produce more eggs than usual. Most people naturally release just one egg per cycle, but the goal here is to grow several at once, hopefully 10 to 20 range. During that time, you'll have monitoring appointments every couple of days. The clinic is checking how your follicles are growing and adjusting your meds if needed. Toward the end, you'll take a trigger shot to prepare your body for the egg retrieval so that trigger shot releases the eggs. The retrieval is a short outpatient procedure. You'll be under light sedation, and a needle is used to collect the eggs from your ovaries. It usually takes about 20 to 30 minutes, and most people go home that same day. After the eggs are collected, they're frozen using vitrification, the flash freezing method that protects the cells and gives them the best chance of surviving later when they're thawed altogether. One egg freezing cycle takes about two to three weeks from start to finish. It's not surgery, but it's still a process. You're giving yourself injections, you're going to frequent appointments. You're dealing with physical side effects, bloating, mood changes, fatigue. Some people go through it and feel fine, others feel uncomfortable or drained by the end.
[00:08:47] It just varies.
[00:08:49] And even with all the preparation, things don't always go as planned. Some people don't respond well to the medication.
[00:08:57] Some retrieve fewer eggs than expected.
[00:09:00] That's part of why clinics sometimes recommend doing more than one round, depending on your age and hormone levels. But medically, it's a well established process. It's been used for decades in IVF and egg donation. Egg freezing is just another application of the same tools meant to give people a way to press pause when the timing to move forward isn't quite right. As a side note, before we dive in, I just want to remind you I'm not a doctor. I'm sharing this for educational purposes.
[00:09:33] Always talk to your fertility specialist or healthcare provider to get guidance tailored specifically to you. Egg freezing typically involves hormone medications all aimed at helping your body produce multiple eggs for retrieval. We know the short term effects pretty well, things like mood swings, bloating, some discomfort, which usually clear up shortly after the treatment is over. But the bigger question on many people's minds is about long term safety. The reassuring news is that current research hasn't shown any significant long term negative effects on fertility or ovarian health. Some studies have also looked closely into potential cancer risks, including breast, ovarian and uterine cancers, and so far no meaningful links have been found. Organizations like the American Society for reproductive medicine, ASRM back this up clearly on their website asrm.org of course, scientists are still actively monitoring this because it's always better to be cautious and informed.
[00:10:37] Fertility experts usually recommend regular checkups and screenings anyway, just as part of good proactive health care. Bottom Line Based on what we know today, egg freezing medications appear safe long term.
[00:10:52] But it's always wise to stay informed and ask questions and have open conversations with your healthcare team. Again, for more information.
[00:11:00] ASRM.org is a great resource and your doctor can always help guide you based on your personal situation.
[00:11:09] The Financial Reality the financial side of egg freezing is where a lot of people stop and take a hard look because it is a big investment.
[00:11:17] One cycle in the US typically costs between 6 and $10,000.
[00:11:22] That includes the procedure, monitoring and lab work.
[00:11:26] Medications can add another three to six thousand dollars depending on what your protocol looks like. And once your eggs are frozen, you're looking at $500 to $1,000 a year for storage. Unfortunately, you can't just stick them in your freezer. If it were only that simple. And here's the part that often surprises people.
[00:11:45] For many, one cycle isn't enough.
[00:11:48] Depending on your age and how your body responds to the meds, it might take two or three cycles to bank the number of eggs your doctor recommends.
[00:11:57] Insurance coverage is still pretty limited. Most plans only cover egg freezing when it's medically necessary, like before cancer treatment or a surgery that could impact fertility. If you're doing it electively, there's a good chance you're paying out of pocket. Some employers have started offering fertility benefits, especially in tech and finance. That shift started a decade ago and it's been expanding slowly, but it's still not standard. If your company doesn't offer it and many don't, you're left to cover the cost yourself. Now there are more options than there used to be. Some clinics offer payment plans, some platforms help with fertility specific loans or bundle everything into one package. And again, there are donation sharing models where you can freeze your eggs for free or at a reduced cost if you agree to donate half.
[00:12:49] That's not for everyone, but for some people it makes the process possible.
[00:12:54] Still, access isn't equal People from all kinds of financial backgrounds are freezing their eggs, some with savings, some with help from family, others using loans, credit cards or donation sharing. These are real sacrifices, and they're not easy decisions. This isn't just something for high income professionals with perfect coverage, but cost is still a barrier. Access Equity in the Business of Egg Freezing Egg freezing is more available now than it used to be. There are more clinics offering it, some clinics include it as a benefit, and there are newer programs trying to make the process easier or more affordable. But even with all of that, it's not something everyone can access.
[00:13:39] If you live in a rural area, getting to a fertility clinic might mean driving two or three hours sometimes each way. And during a cycle, when you're injecting medication daily and going in for blood work and ultrasounds, every couple of that kind of distance isn't just inconvenient, it makes it nearly impossible. Fertility benefits through work can help, but that depends entirely on where you work and who your employer partners with. In a lot of industries, fertility benefits aren't even a conversation yet.
[00:14:12] So if your job doesn't offer them, you're left figuring out on your own. And even when access is possible, the experience isn't the same for everyone.
[00:14:22] Most of the marketing you see for egg freezing is still geared toward one kind of patient, white, straight cisgender in a big city and working a high income job. That's who the system was designed for. And everyone else has to work harder just to get in the door. Black women, for example, are underrepresented in fertility care across the board, and not because they aren't experiencing fertility issues. They're less likely to be referred to, less likely to be heard when they bring concerns, more likely to be dismissed or misdiagnosed. That's not theoretical. That's backed by data and lived experiences. Trans and non binary people also face barriers. For a trans man who wants to preserve his fertility before starting testosterone, egg freezing might be the only option. But many clinics don't offer care that feels safe or even informed. Intake forms might misgender you. The waiting room might not feel like a place you belong. And that kind of exclusion pushes people out of care entirely. So yes, there's more growth in this space. There's more innovation, more companies, more marketing. But growth doesn't guarantee equity. And access isn't just about price. It's about proximity. It's about safety. It's about feeling like you're actually included in the care you're receiving.
[00:15:44] Until that changes, egg freezing will keep expanding. But not everyone will be able to benefit from it. In the same way, public conversation and cultural shift. Egg freezing has moved from something nobody talked about to something everybody seems to be talking about. And depending on where you're standing, that shift can feel empowering or complicated. There was a time when this was all considered private, even taboo.
[00:16:09] Now you've got clinics, advertising, online influencers, posting injection routines, and podcasts like this one breaking it all down. On one hand, that openness is a good thing. Fertility shouldn't be something people have to navigate in silence.
[00:16:25] But on the other hand, the way egg freezing is framed publicly can sometimes create a lot of noise and pressure. It can start to sound like something everyone should be doing, like it's this guaranteed safety net.
[00:16:39] And while it can be a powerful tool, it's not magic. And it's definitely not a sure thing.
[00:16:46] Some of that pressure gets amplified on social media. You'll see someone sharing their cycle, their egg count, their fertility journey. And sometimes that's helpful, sometimes it's not.
[00:16:58] Because what's missing in those snapshots is the full picture. The medical side, the financial side, and the emotional side. And one thing that really gets talked about, what happens after? There are more people who freeze their eggs and never use them. Maybe they get pregnant naturally. Maybe their life took a different path. Or maybe they tried to use them later and it didn't work.
[00:17:22] And the feelings that come with that can be all over the place.
[00:17:26] Some people feel relieved. They're glad they took that step and even if they didn't need it. Others feel disappointment or grief or questions they can't answer.
[00:17:36] It's not as simple as I froze my eggs and now everything's taken care of.
[00:17:42] There's a long emotional tale to this decision, and it deserves more space in the conversation.
[00:17:48] Relationships are another layer that doesn't get discussed enough. If you're already in a relationship, egg freezing can bring up conversations about future timelines, shared goals, and what to do with those eggs later. And if you're not in a relationship, it can add a new layer to dating. When do you bring it up? How do you explain why you froze your eggs or what you plan to do with them?
[00:18:13] Some people feel empowered, like they've taken control of their timeline and they can move through dating without as much urgency. Others feel like it raises even more questions about how and when family building might happen.
[00:18:27] The point is, egg freezing doesn't exist in a vacuum.
[00:18:32] It sits right at the intersection of medicine, emotional relationships and culture.
[00:18:38] And we have to be thoughtful about how we talk about it, especially when not everyone has the same access, the same support or the same experience.
[00:18:47] What to keep in Mind There's a lot of information out there about egg freezing, and there's a lot of messaging, some of it helpful, some of it overwhelming.
[00:18:58] So if you're sitting with this decision wondering if it's right for you or when the right time might be, or what it really means long term, there are a few things I think are important to keep in mind.
[00:19:10] First, egg freezing is a tool.
[00:19:12] It's not a guarantee. It doesn't promise a baby.
[00:19:16] But for some people, it can offer a peace of mind or just a little more space to figure things out.
[00:19:23] That said, timing does matter. And while I'm not a doctor, most fertility specialists agree that best time to freeze your eggs is sometime in your late 20s to mid-30s. That's when egg quality and quantity are typically strongest. Once you hit your late 30s, things start to change.
[00:19:42] The chances of retrieving a good number of healthy eggs starts to drop, and it may take more than one cycle to get there. After 40, it's still possible, but the odds of success are lower. One source I recommend people look at is fertility iq. They break down what the numbers actually look like. According to their data, someone who freezes 10 to 20 eggs before age 35 has about 60 to 70% chance of having one live birth from those eggs. If you're freezing after 38, that number goes down, and you might need 25 to 30 eggs or more just to have a similar shot. It's also worth knowing that Even though about 90% of eggs survive thawing, not all of them fertilize. And not all fertilized eggs become embryos that lead to a pregnancy.
[00:20:35] That's why clinics often recommend a target number of eggs based on your age and hormone levels.
[00:20:42] So this is where you want to be informed. Not scared, not pressured, just informed. And it's also where you want to make sure you're getting real information from a medical provider who can look at your specific situation.
[00:20:57] Because egg freezing isn't one size fits all, what makes sense for one person might not for someone else.
[00:21:05] And while you're here, I think it's also worth naming that egg freezing isn't the only option.
[00:21:11] Some people freeze embryos instead, especially if they have a partner or a known donor.
[00:21:17] Others explore things like egg donation, embryo donation, adoption, or even parenting solo. None of those paths are easier or harder. They're just different.
[00:21:29] The point is, egg freezing can be a powerful tool, but it works best when you understand what it actually offers, what it doesn't, and what your own goals really are. And if you're thinking about moving forward, one of the most important steps is choosing the right clinic. You want to find a place that has real experience with egg freezing, not just ivf.
[00:21:52] Ask how many egg freezing cycles they do each year.
[00:21:56] Ask about their thaw success rates and how many patients go on to have live births from frozen eggs. That will give you a better sense of what to expect.
[00:22:06] Also, pay attention to how the provider communicates. Are they rushing you? Are they actually listening to your concerns? Do they explain things clearly? You want to feel like you're getting guidance, not a sales pitch.
[00:22:21] You want to know that the team you're working with understands your priorities, not just their protocols. And lastly, some questions you may want to consider.
[00:22:30] Are you doing this because it feels right for you, or because you feel like you're supposed to?
[00:22:36] Do you know what's involved, or are there still pieces you're not clear on?
[00:22:40] Can you afford it, or are you hoping to find a way? Even if it's a stretch, if you never use the eggs, would you still feel okay about freezing them?
[00:22:50] These are the kind of questions that don't always have quick answers, but they're worth asking before you make the decision.
[00:22:56] Not after.
[00:22:58] Until next time. Remember, love has no limits. Neither should parenthood. Thank you for joining us at the Fertility Cafe. If you found value in today's episode, please subscribe, leave a review and share with someone who might benefit from this information.
[00:23:16] You can find, show notes and resources from this episode in the description or visit the fertilitycafe.com for more information.
